


Donut is a FuqueBoi

by ilikeshipment



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Smut, kinda also crack, like it's funny but it's still sexy idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 02:10:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikeshipment/pseuds/ilikeshipment
Summary: Donut is bored and Wash is hot.





	Donut is a FuqueBoi

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.

            Donut tip toed his way around Blue Base. He was on the hunt for some man meat. He knew Tucker and Caboose were out running laps, he could hear Tucker complaining about his nipples. Which could only mean one thing: Wash was around here somewhere and damn it he was determined to climb that man like a tree. For real, the new Blue Team leader was so freaking hot. When he first spotted Wash when he landed for the rescue mission (or lack thereof) he knew he had to take a bite. It was destiny.

            He heard the clinging of tools and a hard, frustrated sigh. _Gotcha,_ he thought. He poked his head around the corner to see Wash, be still his beating heart, only wearing athletic pants and a greasy white T-shirt. Hot diggity damn. He fully entered the room. He was wearing shorts that were probably too short and a tank top. Hopefully he was showing enough skin to catch Wash’s eye. He coughed slightly, which of course startled Wash. He turned on his heel, holding a wrench and was clearly ready to use it as a weapon. His straight up battle ready look was almost enough to get Donut to whimper. Wow, he had it bad.

            But when Wash realized who it was, he lowered the wrench and immediately looked unamused. “Oh,” he said. “It’s only you.”

            Donut gave his best smile and started to walk over to Wash. “Yeah, well, Red Base was super boring, so I thought I’d see what was going on over here. But I guess I caught you all by yourself. Whoops.” He shrugged and leaned up against the wall next to Wash. He _had_ to look cute. He spent a good fifteen minutes looking in a mirror before walking over here. His hair was perfect and he made sure he was clean, but not clean enough to say, “Hey, don’t get me dirty” because Wash could absolutely get Donut dirty if he wanted to.

            Wash let out a forced laugh. Donut looked cute, but he was going to have to try way harder than that if he wanted to distract him. He was trying to make this base more livable. He turned to continue working, but Donut was right in his space again.

            “So, whatcha working on?” He asked. He sounded like a teenager talking to their crush. Which totally was not cute. Not at all. Wash still smiled a bit.

            “I’m just trying to make the base more bearable. Tucker was complaining that the speakers weren’t working for when he wanted to listen to music, so I thought I’d fix them for him,” he explained.

            “Aw, you’re so sweet,” Donut said as he reached for a screwdriver and immediately put the tip in his mouth. Wash stared at him. Donut winked.

            “Yeah, I’ve been kinda hard on him.” Donut chose this moment to cough. Wash ignored it. “So, I thought I’d so something to make up for it.” Even though Wash was postponing the inevitable with words, Donut could feel the desire radiating off of him. He knew the motherfucker liked boys. _He knew it._ He kept chewing on the screwdriver and making some choice noises with his mouth. Wash looked over at him, his cheeks visibly red.

            Donut looked up at him with his big blue eyes, trying to look as innocent but fuckable as possible. “So, what do you do for fun?” he asked and god dammit he sounded like a freaking porn star.

            Wash could only say, “Uh, what?” Oh, boy, this was so working.

            “You guys do have fun, right?” And now he turned the screwdriver around and started sucking on the fucking handle. Wash swallowed. His eyes trailed over Donut’s body. His figure was short and slim, but he was very toned. He looked like he did yoga; he was probably really flexible. And his tank was showing off shoulders that Wash just wanted to sink his teeth into. Jesus Fucking Christ, he was so gay.           

            Donut gave one good wink and that was it. Wash grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him against the wall; the screwdriver being flown across the room. Then his mouth was on his, ferocious and greedy. Donut immediately felt high. He wrapped his arms around Wash’s thick neck and jumped up so his legs were around his waist. Wash immediately grabbed his ass (for support, of course) and got pushier wish his kissing. He licked into Donut’s mouth and Donut responded by sucking on his tongue.        

            Wash pulled away and let Donut back onto the ground, but only because he wanted to take off these freaking clothes. He started with his own shirt and then forcefully pulled Donut’s off. Throughout this whole process, they were both panting and looking at each other with full out hunger. They were back to kissing each other soon enough. Wash was grabbing at Donut’s slim hips and Donut was grabbing at Wash’s shoulders. Donut pushed Wash away just so he could kneel down and lick up Wash’s abs. Wash shuddered with pleasure. Donut licked all the way into Wash’s mouth and sealed their lips once more.

            Wash pushed him back against the wall, harder this time, and started biting and licking at Donut’s neck. He eventually ended at the slim shoulders that he wanted to bite into earlier. He pushed himself against Donut and grinded onto his smaller body.

            “Oh, fuck, I’m so hard,” Donut panted. Wash grabbed at Donut’s crotch and sure enough, he was right. And from what it felt like, he had a nice éclair baking in there. He pulled down his shorts and Donut did the same for him. “Oh, wow,” Donut exclaimed in absolute shock and little bit of wonder. Wash was well hung. Like _damn_ he knew Wash would be big but this is amazing? Like a dream come true? He was practically salivating. He wanted Washington’s D.C.

            He looked up to see the smuggest smirk ever plastered on a human face. Wash knew he was hot, god dammit. But then Donut’s heart almost broke when Wash started to walk away.

            “Wait what?? Where are you going?”

            “I’ll be back,” was all Wash said. And sure enough he came back not even a minute later. He held up a condom packet and a bottle of lube. “Might need these,” he said.

            And then they got to business. Wash slicked up his fingers and started opening Donut up. His happy squeals throughout the whole process were fucking adorable and they also turned Wash on beyond belief. Pleasing people pleased him, he guessed.

            Donut was so fucking proud of himself at this point. He was about to get fucked by the buffest guy he’s ever seen. Hell, even his fingers were thick. He had three in now and it was fucking amazing. He stroked over his prostate and Donut moaned in the most scandalous way possible. They were both ready to just get fucked up now. With Donut still against the wall, he wrapped his legs around Wash’s hips again. Wash held him up and then slowly lowered Donut onto his cock.

            He let Donut stay there so his muscles could get used to him. Donut whispered, “I’m ready,” into Wash’s ear and then proceeded to bite it. Wash started moving, but slowly at first. His cock was huge and Donut could feel himself stretching around it. It hurt the first few strokes, but damn it was so worth it. When Wash started to pick up the pace, Donut felt himself start to come undone. He leaned his head back against the wall and was now just the right height for Wash to latch onto one of his nipples. His hands then went to Wash’s hair and pulled. That totally triggered something in Wash and he was slightly unprepared for it.

            Wash picked up the pace, practically slamming himself into the smaller man. The sounds he was making made Donut’s dick twitch. They sounded more like growls than moans. Shit, this was so good.

            “Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god,” Donut moaned. “Oh, just fuck me up,” he said more to the ceiling than to Wash. Wash bit his neck and adjusted his angle so he was hitting Donut’s prostate every time. Donut’s hands were still in Wash’s hair because clearly this is how he controls how hard he gets fucked. The stimulation on his prostate and the hands on his hips and the lips on his neck were too much. Wash was now moaning loudly and he could feel the vibrations throughout his neck.

            “Shit, I’m coming,” he whined. And it was barely enough warning before he was shooting up on his and Wash’s chests. Wash kept going until he climaxed. And when he did, his legs were shaking and his knees went weak.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed. He quickly had to slip out of Donut before they both collapsed to the ground. They now were lying in a pile of their own clothes. Wash used his dirty shirt to wipe off his chest and then threw it to Donut so he could do the same. Except he wasn’t moving.

            “Uh, Donut?” He asked. He reached over to shake his shoulder a bit. (His shoulder that was now red and a bit bruised. Oops.) Donut just moaned a bit and Wash stopped feeling like he was about to have a panic attack. “You scared me,” he said, voice back to normal.

            “That was so fucking good,” Donut said, but it sounded like he was about to cry. “Like, seriously, my life is changed.” Wash chuckled for real this time.

            “Anytime,” he said. _That_ made Donut sit up.

            “Really??” he asked, eyes wide. Wash smirked again.

            “Sure.” Now Donut was squealing again. _Fuck,_ he’s so cute. ”Okay, okay. You better go back over to Red Base before Sarge starts to think I’m holding you hostage.”

            Once Donut was cleaned up and dressed again, he started to leave the base. But before he did, he turned back around and said, “I wouldn’t mind if you did.” Then he winked again and then he was gone.


End file.
